BB Creeper

Big Brother is probably my absolute favorite reality show out there.

It is a competition for $500,000.00. All the players are in a house, cannot leave, and are filmed 24/7 doing–yes—everything.

This is the one reality show that my friend Sharon and I always say we could actually do.

You really don’t have to do much of anything, but hang out, chat, drink, and do a few competitions. Hello! This is right up my alley because I would be sooooo good at just hanging around a house all day.

Anywhoo, I have always had this curiosity about what we don’t get to see. Don’t judge.

Well, CBS just happens to be way ahead of me because they actually have a place on their website where you can pay a small fee and be in on their live feed.

Yes, it is voyeurism in its truest form. Again, don’t judge. (If you like reality TV then you’re a voyeur too.)

Anyway, I finally broke down (being on summer break and drinking heavily has led to many a situation such as this) and I placed the order!

Yes. I did it. I said don’t judge. I paid that small fee for the ability to watch my favorite TV show wheneeeeeeeeeever I want! Yipeeee!

Well, as I’m waiting for the credit card to process and the live feed to begin, I start to get a little nervous, and I start pondering things like my morality, my values…..my need not to look like a pervert.

As the screen comes up I see there are four camera shots in different rooms as well as one that includes all four in one screen called quad view–just in case you are fearful that you might miss something. Clever.

The excitement is building to the point that my heart starts palpitating as the long waited live feed begins to appear on my screen.

Well, that excitement was quickly replaced with this hot feeling of dread as I realize what I am watching.

I see this creepy black and white film and I hear nothing but breathing. 

Good Lord I’m watching people sleep.

I just paid $26.99 to watch people breath and roll over and fart while they sleep.

Hell, I can do that for free at my house!

The thing is…I can’t look away. ALL THEY’RE DOING IS SLEEPING…and I just paid to watch. It’s official. I’m a pervert.

So, of course I continue watching and I watched those lazy ass people sleep until 11:45am. I’m begging them with my mind to get up and do something!

Finally, Helen gets up and decides to go for a little jog.

Have you ever watched someone run…in their back yard? Well, here I am again sitting here watching her go.

She’s running in circles because the yard is all of ten feet long and five feet wide (seriously it’s tiny), and she’s panting, and I’m watching.

This is what I have been dying to see??? Good Grief. Only losers do this!! I have a life.

So….I wonder what they’ll be doing tonight?