Awkward Moments

Have you ever just made an absolute ass of yourself and thought, Why the hell did I just do that?  What an idiot!

Of course you have.

Why is awkwardness and embarrassment two of the things we go through huge extents to avoid?

It doesn’t even matter how hard I try to be normal, I still fail…regularly.

It’s like I lose any bit of sense the good Lord gave me at fairly regular intervals in my life.

For instance, I told a guy at Marshalls who was carrying this huge pile of clothes around and replacing them on racks that the hanger holding this dress was broken.

He stared at me.

Then, I asked him if he wanted me to just hang it back up. 

He said, “I guess?” 

Huh?

Ok, so clearly when his mother walked over and dumped another pile of clothes on him I realized he was not a salesperson, but just a sweet son. 

They exchanged some sweet little diddy in Chinese, had a few giggles, and stared at me.

As this was not my first rodeo with stupidity, I just continued to hold my head high like I would ask that very question to any shopper in that store that day. 

Hey, do you think I should hang this broken hanger back up?  Hey you over there, what do you think?

One time, after a quick little restroom break, I walked down the aisle in front of an entire church congregation with my skirt neatly tucked into my underwear. 

Do ya think anyone said to me before I made it to the second row—“Hey! Dumb-ass your skirt’s tucked into your underwear.”

Of course not.

The fantastic thing is that these memories just keep coming around in fresh supply.

Just a week ago I was on a flight trying to listen to a few iTunes on my laptop and not being able to hear them well in my headset, I began to troubleshoot and continued to turn them up until I had reached max volume.

Still nothing.

Well, when husband turns dramatically toward me looking at me as though I just murdered a small child, I pulled my headset off only to hear my music blasting straight from my computer.

Never plugged them in…

The best part is that the song that was playing was none other than the Divinyls, I Touch Myself. (Good grief)

I’m looking around with a ridiculous look on my face like no I don’t…gross…

Whatever……I can shake it off.  I’m cool.  I mean I have to be because I know that it’s only a matter of time before I will do something stupid again, and I will be mortified.

But…there is a payoff.

I will have a good story to tell.